Dr Liesel van der Merwe is a small animal medicine specialist. Send her your questions: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Dr Liesel van der Merwe

I’ve previously written about the place of animals in our lives. As vets we see people who feel one pet is very much like another and will rather euthanize and get another one as it is cheaper as well as those who will spend a fortune and allow a major impact on their family’s life to keep a pet alive.

The first option sounds offensive and brutal. Yet, when you think about it, it may be very practical. We are required to keep our pets sheltered, fed and safe from harm and – I hope – happy. We are not required to spend a fortune fixing damage from accidents or illness. That is an individual decision. It may not be the same as my opinion on the matter but then it is not my pet.

Other people will put everything on the line to manage an ill pet or find money to afford a surgical procedure. I speak from experience; there is a feeling of “letting your pet down” if you don’t try everything and you feel guilty. Some people also worry about what others would think. But, ultimately, it is your life, your money, your family, your pet and your unique circumstances.

“Burden of care” can really wear a person down. We talk of quality of life for a pet when we discuss treatment, but we must always consider the owners’ quality of life. Your pet has to be a positive part of your family.

Having said this, I hate euthanizing a patient I think is treatable and I start feeling very down if I have to perform several of these in a short space of time. I have made decisions on euthanasia which have left me in tears with my own pets, but ultimately have felt a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Generally people are content to follow this argument for ill pets, but when it comes to behavioural issues it suddenly becomes a lot less palatable. Many behavioural problems are perceived to be due to upbringing and environment. This is true, but many are from inappropriate selection of a specific breed as well as poor breeding and socialisation. Dog breeds have certain characteristics and these must be compatible with the owner’s personality and environment.

Some behavioural problems can be corrected and others not. Misplaced aggression is an easy one: Your dogs cannot get to the deliveryman at the gate so they turn on each other. This can be managed with practical steps.

It’s behaviours where there doesn’t appear to be a trigger that are problematic. Even severe phobias, such as fear of thunderstorms, which are unmanageable even with medication and environmental changes, can cause inordinate amounts of stress for the pets and owners.

We sometimes see one dog in a household who will repeatedly attack the others or another specific dog. People then try to separate the dogs, but somehow a gate is left open and back to the vet we go. In my opinion this is an even worse situation that having a sick pet.

We wouldn’t expect ourselves or our children to stay with an individual prone to violence, so why do we feel we need to do that with our pets? I’m not advocating euthanizing dogs with behavioural issues without veterinary or behavioural assessment and intervention first, but when the condition is resistant to management we have to consider our options. We cannot live a life of stress, managing a single dog’s behaviour in a household where all others are suffering.

I bring up this discussion because my parents lost their cat a few weeks ago and they felt terribly lonely and wanted a pair of kittens. I found two small kittens from a foster and we took them to my folks. It did not go well from the beginning. The one kitten was rough and mean to the other and also rough with people.

After much discussion we decided to return the rough kitten to the foster. There were tears and feelings of guilt, but the situation was untenable and unlikely to change. One week later the rough kitten is back for re-homing and the remaining kitten is playful and no longer stressed and my folks no longer have to stress about separating the two and can enjoy the one they have. Decisions have to be made for the benefit of the majority involved. Often hard decisions.