Those of us coming out of the third wave of this thing they call Covid, should probably be elated that we’re still alive. So many people didn’t make it this far. Problem is we’re not. Elated, that is.

So, tell me: Are you feeling a bit ‘bleugh’ right now? Like a balloon that’s lost its air? Floundering in a sense of emptiness? Vigor, oomph, purpose, joy . . . absent. I hear you, sister. Me too. Big time.

Life coach Baeth Davis says that we’re living in a time that you and I have never experienced before. People are taking stock of their lives, what’s important to them and what is not. She says that the key to thriving is knowing how to show up in these constantly changing times.

You’re bombarded by information, messages, courses, mentors and coaches that are not guiding you to share exactly who you are, Beth says. That’s why now is the time to filter out the clutter and people who aren’t helping you to find your own way.

Many of us simply react to whatever is going on around us, instead of trying to find our own truth first. Ali Brown says that when competition swarms around, it can be good in many ways, as it gets you to stay sharp and raise your game. But in the end, it limits you because often your entire focus then simply becomes being better than others around you.

“And that game never ends, because someone else in your industry will always have: More revenue; bigger launches; more media; cooler videos; a larger following; better ads; more posts . . . (and she’s a better dancer on TikTok).”

Madisyn Taylor says that you can avoid anguish by simply recognizing that certain aspects of life nourish you while others drain you. “What invigorates, excites, and inspires one individual may exhaust or overwhelm another.” Try to understand what you, as individual, are capable of handling.

It truly doesn’t help to label yourself as either good or bad. Madisyn says that many of us experienced childhoods in which the words ‘bad’ and ‘good’ were used to control us: You were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didn’t. This undermines your ability to trust and be guided by your own inner self.

“To label yourself good or bad is to think too small. What you are is a decision-maker and every moment provides you the opportunity to move in the direction of your higher self or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. In the end, only you know the difference,” Madisyn says.

Time to put down the whip, girlfriend. You’re doing the best you know how. Over the past year and a half we’ve all been traumatised to a greater or lesser degree. Bessel A van der Kolk says that traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies.

“Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become expert at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from their selves,” Bessel says.

Sounds familiar? According to Bessel, trauma victims cannot recover until they become familiar with and befriend the sensations in their bodies. “In my practice I begin the process by helping my patients to first notice and then describe the feelings in their bodies – not emotions such as anger or anxiety or fear but the physical sensations beneath the emotions: pressure, heat, muscular tension, tingling, caving in, feeling hollow, and so on.”

To start reconnecting with yourself, you need courage. Actually, says Brené Brown, the word ‘courage’ comes from the Latin word ‘cor’, meaning heart, and the original definition of the word was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.

How to do that? Maybe it’s not a story you know anything about before you set off on your journey. You have to start without knowing the ending, trusting that courage will stay one step ahead of fear.

And then, girlfriend, you will see, as Anaïs Nin says, that life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.