You never get it done Print E-mail
News - Final Word
Monday, 19 August 2019 21:01
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So, you’ve read all the how-to books, you’ve done the inspiring courses, you focus on the positive and . . . . negative thoughts still creep up on you. It’s because you need them, girlfriend. They play a hugely underestimated role in your wellbeing.

No, it’s not the same as banging your forehead against a brick wall because it is such a wonderful relief when you stop. Not like that at all. It’s more like Abraham Hicks says: Knowing what you don’t want leads to knowing what you do want.

I recently discovered a woman called Dana Wilde who wrote, ‘Train Your Brain’. Fascinated by neuroscience and the power of the mind, she founded ‘The Mind Aware Show’ where she gives people practical tools they can use to change their thinking.

Needless to say, Dana is all about positive thoughts. And still, she says that her aim is not to eradicate all negative thoughts because . . . wait for this . . . they are so useful; actually they are vital for any progress whatsoever. If you never have them, you’ll stay stuck on the cycle of perpetual sameness.

Say your aim is to constantly feel bliss. And just say you succeed. Imagine the graph that could then be drawn of your emotional day. It would just rhythmically blimp ‘bliss-bliss-bliss-bliss’ in a stagnant horizontal line from one side of the page to the next.

There would be no movement in your life; no striving towards anything; no wanting of new things; simply put – no desires. Isn’t that almost like being . . . dead?

On the other hand, if your graph goes down to discomfort, it inspires you to spike up above the horizontal bliss-blimp. And so you grow. Coach Christy Whitman says that we should be grateful for negative events in our life – she calls it contrast – because these events make it clear to you what it is you’d prefer.

When you find yourself in circumstances you abhor, you automatically shoot off a rocket of desire – you imagine the circumstances you’d prefer. But, when you reach those circumstances, you soon become dissatisfied again. You want even more and shoot off another rocket and so on ad infinitum.

It ’s sort of another take on ‘Who Moved My Cheese?written by dr Spencer Johnson. The book tells the story of two mice, Sniff and Scurry, and two “Littlepeople”, Hem and Haw. They live in the “Maze” where they look for “Cheese”, which they stockpile.

Then one day the cheese is gone. Sniff and Scurry quickly move on to explore the rest of the maze, while Hem and Haw simply wait. Of course they sit there complaining about the unfairness of their cheese being missing, and assume that someone else must have moved it and that they might bring it back.

The thing is, your cheese will always keep moving. Complaining is not going to bring it back; it’s just going to make your now empty hiding place that much more uncomfortable.

When you get to a place you dreamed would be safe and comfortable, restlessness quickly creeps in and your safe place could become a jail if you intend to hole up there forever.

And so you go through life – knowing what you don’t want and getting prickly enough to get clear on knowing what you do want until you get it and . . . the cheese is moved yet again.

We see losing our stockpile of cheese as a problem, but author Richard Bach writes that there is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. “You seek problems because you need their gifts.”

“That’s what learning is, after all,” he says, “not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.”

In this game called life you never get it done. The point is not to get it done. It is to keep moving, sharing experiences with those you care for, growing and learning “how to love and love again”.

Richard Bach probably said it best:
“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t.”

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