It’s always a choice Print E-mail
News - Final Word
Monday, 25 March 2019 07:33
Untitled Document

“The only constant is change.”

So said sixth century Greek philosopher, Heraclitus. Yep, he felt it in the sixth century – everything comes and goes from our lives, whether by circumstance or by choice. People, possessions, pets, professions, places  . . .

“Sometimes this change is something we don’t expect or don’t want,” says wellness expert, Lissa Coffey. It can be distressing and cause heartache. We might try to dissect every event leading up to it, play the blame-game or lose sleep constantly stressing out about it.

Most of us try to fight change . . . to no avail. You see, whichever way you choose to cope with change affects how you move forward; how you view the world and how you feel about your own life.

Christy Whitman says there are two parts to a transition, no matter what its size or scope: What you are leaving behind; and what you are moving towards. The thing that makes any transition painful is when you are focused on all the things you are losing. In other words, the lack of something.

So, this is not a treatise on loss; it is one on transition. If you are getting divorced, you will miss out on family togetherness. But, what are you moving towards? If you are mourning the loss of an animal, you focus on how you won’t be able to hold that animal anymore. But, what are you moving towards?

How can you tell which end of the spectrum you’re on? You look at how you’re feeling right now. If your focus is on the lack of something, you’re going to feel bad. If it’s on the abundance of endless possibilities snaking ahead of you, you’ll feel better.

Madisyn Taylor writes that when we lose something that we cherish, the sense of emptiness can be overwhelming. The feelings of separation, loss and pain can be difficult to tolerate because a space that was filled, whether in your life or your heart, is now a void.

Of course it is important to honour what used to be, but a loss can also represent a chance for a new beginning. When you are ready, the void left by a dream, a relationship or a job can then be seen as open space waiting for new dreams, new experiences, new knowledge, new job opportunities, new people and new ways to grow.

Madisyn teaches that there are many ways to weave the threads of loss into a blessing. Say you’ve lost a job, your first thoughts may revolve around filling the void with a similar job. However, try not to rush into anything just to fill up the emptiness. The loss of a job can free you up to explore new opportunities and rediscover your own interests.

By doing this you are not devaluing what you’ve lost. Neither are you replacing it coldheartedly. You are surrendering to the fact that you sometimes have to let go and allow for what is new to enter the open spaces created by your losses. You can honour what has left you without getting stuck in the past.

How would you feel if you knew with certainty that you wouldn’t get stuck; that you could handle any life situation, circumstance, experience or outcome? Christy Whitman says it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you choose to respond. You are responsible for giving your life and circumstances meaning, but instead most of us are simply reacting rather than acting from a place of deliberate intention.

In ‘Everything Is Here to Help You’, Matt Kahn offers an emotionally supportive way to shift and open yourself up to life’s miracles. He says that when you’re in a situation that causes you agony, you should ask yourself: Am I seeing this moment in a way that helps or hurts me? It might help tremendously to realise that everything that happens in your life has a purpose.

This doesn’t mean you’d be immune to disillusionment, disaster or desolation. Instead, you’ll become keenly aware of how often life is giving you the chance to grow and expand.

Girlfriend, it is only when you know that life is on your side, no matter how anything appears or seems, that you can see the choices which are available to you. Always.

Nothing – neither event nor person – can ever take that away from you.


Besoek die Suid-Afrikaanse Departement van Gesondheid se webwerf vir alle amptelike inligting en opdaterings rakende COVID-19 by

© 2021 Die/The Bronberger