As me as I can be Print E-mail
News - Final Word
Tuesday, 26 February 2019 08:22
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Do you find it hard to graciously accept a compliment? Do you do backward summersaults to earn others’ approval? On a scale from one to ten, how often do you feel truly satisfied with a job well done?

If you’re often annoyed with yourself and seldom feel satisfied with anything you’ve accomplished, you are sending your body a message that you’re not good enough. This is not just unkind; it causes untold damage that will need to be addressed later.

“You have to love yourself as if your life depends on it, because it does,” writes Anita Moorjani in her book, ‘Dying to be me’.

“I can’t say this strongly enough, but our feelings about ourselves are actually the most important barometer for determining the condition of our lives,” she says.

In 2006, Anita fell into a coma as her four-year struggle with cancer was coming to an end.  While doctors rushed to attend to her frail body, she entered into a near-death experience where she felt herself completely enveloped in a sea of unconditional love and acceptance.

“As I looked at the great tapestry that was the accumulation of my life up to that point, I was able to identify exactly what had brought me to where I was today. Just look at my life path! Why, oh why, have I always been so harsh with myself? Why was I always beating myself up? Why was I always forsaking myself?”

Anita says she realised that she betrayed herself every time she needed to seek external approval; every time she said yes when she meant no; every time she suppressed her own creativity and intelligence to please others; every time she didn’t follow her own beautiful heart and spoke her own truth.

“Why don’t we realize this when we’re in our physical bodies,” Anita asked herself. “How come I never knew that we’re not supposed to be so tough on ourselves?”

To her doctors’ surprise, Anita came out of the coma after 30 hours. Within two days the doctors told her that her organs had miraculously started functioning again. Tests confirmed that her tumours had started shrinking. Five weeks after entering the hospital, Anita was released to go home. And she couldn’t wait to live her life with joy and abandon.

Anita realized how harshly she’d treated herself and judged herself throughout her life. “I was the one who was judging me, whom I’d forsaken, and whom I didn’t love enough. It had nothing to do with anyone else.”

She was amazed to understand that her life could be dramatically different just by realizing that she doesn’t have to do anything to deserve love, because – like most of us – she had always thought she needed to work at being lovable.

“I believed that I somehow had to be deserving and worthy of being cared for, so it was incredible to realize this wasn’t the case.”

When Anita had her near-death experience, she learned that two primary forces, love and fear, had been behind every single action she ever took, and she could clearly see that she’d spent most of her life being driven by fear.

When you allow fear to rule the roost, you’ll always be trying to fit in, denying who you really are so that you can satisfy the expectations of others. When you let love lay down the law, you can start trusting who you are and only then can you be true to yourself.

“I learned that my only purpose in life is to be a full expression of myself,” Anita says.

She believes that this is the most powerful idea for each of us: realizing that we’re here to discover and honour our own individual path. This is really the only thing you have to do.

If you cover up who you are; if you pretend to be something you’re not, you’ll have a dismally lonely life.

For starters, you won’t even have any real friends because the people around you would have been attracted by that which you pretended to be; not the real you.

Girlfriend, you owe it to yourself and to everyone you meet to express who you truly are. Fearlessly.

Stop twisting yourself into knots to hide that which you’re scared others won’t approve of. Raise the curtains. Enter stage right. The real you is all set to be trotted out and to be loved and loved again.

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