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News - Final Word
Tuesday, 22 August 2017 14:22
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Many people find themselves in what Charles Eisenstein calls the “space between stories”. It is the purposeless drift zone when one story has ended, but another has not yet begun.

You know you’re there when nothing seems to flow; when everything feels hard; when getting out of bed after 10 hours of sleep is a huge challenge. You’re there when you find yourself asking questions such as, “Is this all there is?” You’re especially there when you shrug your shoulders when people ask you what you love.

Doreen Virtue says that to help you find what you love, you need to keep a time diary. This is sort of like those horrid food diaries nutritionists told people to keep – where you have to write down every single morsel that crosses your lips during the day.

In the time diary you write down everything you do during the day – not just the major undertakings, but the time spent getting ready in the morning, walking the dog, pottering in your garden, doing the dishes, talking to friends, eating or buying data bundles. This diary holds valuable clues if you tote up the amount of time you spend on certain things.

By the way, girlfriend, it was only by keeping a time diary that I realised exactly how much time I spend reading. Every. Single. Day. Reading has always been such a part of me that I haven’t even realised that I seldom eat without reading. It was totally parked in my blind spot.

A time diary uncovers that blind spot in a way Parker J Palmer describes like this: “Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it, I need to listen to my life to tell me who I am.”

Think of the times you’ve been happiest. What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you?

As a child, when someone asked what you wanted to be when you grew up, you probably responded immediately. If you were a boy chances are you said ‘fire fighter’. Don’t take the word the child knows to heart. What the boy is trying to say is that he wants to be a hero. It’s the feeling associated with the word that will steer him towards some kind of rescuing profession, be that medical, judicial or fighting fire.

Curious footnote here: I confessed to primary school friends that I wanted to be a belly dancer. Imagine a born reader saying that. I suspect that was the only word I knew for desperately wanting to be something unusual.

In their virtual workshop, ‘Find your calling’, life coaches Martha Beck, Lissa Rankin and Amy Ahlers say that “you may get inklings of what you’re here on this earth to do when you’re young, but chances are good that if you were lucky enough to find your calling in your youth, some well-meaning relative, schoolteacher or guidance counsellor tried to knock some sense into you and steer you towards more practical pursuits”.

Were you strong enough to resist pressures that tried to put you into a box that didn’t fit? Maybe you were and then pursued your passion only to discover that you’re actually not all that passionate about it after all.

To help find what it is you’re meant to do in life, try answering these questions, even though you may have a hard time figuring out how the answers could possibly point you towards anything as lofty sounding as a ‘life purpose’:
Is there some activity you do which causes you to lose all track of time? Is there something about you that you are frequently complimented on? Is there something you do that seems effortless to you?

The thing is, you are happiest when you are being your natural self. Only then no effort is required and your talents appear with ease. Nick Williams says that we should all share our voice authentically.

He says that our existence is like a jigsaw puzzle, with a unique shape cut out for every living being, a little space in the cosmos that only each of us can fill. The miracle comes when, as you find your place in the jigsaw puzzle, you form the pattern for me to find mine.

You see, girlfriend, we serve each other most powerfully by finding our own place.

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