In times of trouble, trauma and tension we tend to default to a single question: Why? Why this? Why now? Why me?

Author Jennifer McLean says that this is a distinctly human reaction, but the problem is that it puts you into victim mode where you will remain stuck. You can prevent being trapped in a poor-me mindset simply by noticing what’s happening in the moment. Use the instant you ask “Why me?” as a point of access and change.

Jennifer says step one is to notice what you’re thinking. It’s most likely an old belief or pattern that is rearing its ugly head once again. Madisyn Taylor agrees that the key to conquering fear is awareness. It is only when you can identify the thoughts that frighten you, that you can replace them.

Jennifer’s step two is to feel your upsetting feelings. Notice and acknowledge them. “They are yours, they are real, they come from an honest place. So, allow yourself a moment of emotional connection to the upset.”

Step three is to shift this false sense of victim ‘why’ into an opportunity to heal. How? Madisyn says that the term ‘awareness’ doesn’t mean that you have to obsessively monitor all your thoughts. You start by picking an intention for the day and notice whether your thoughts align with this intention or deviate from it.

Master Mingtong Gu says that intention-setting isn’t just about what we want to get done. It’s about making a loving commitment to yourself and setting the tone for the focus of your day. Setting an intention to guide you is a beautiful way to help you switch from hurt to new levels of openness and discovery.

It’s a place to keep orienting towards when stressors come up. An example is: “I keep returning to loving curiosity as feelings come up through my day.” Whichever intention you choose, write it on your mirror or put it on sticky notes and place them where you can see them the entire day long.

My current favourite is: “I love and accept myself today, acknowledging my mistakes without shaming myself for them.”

Christy Whitman says that you can make a practice of deciding at the beginning of the day, or each new segment of the day, what kind of energy you wish to perpetuate. She says that you can think of the range of vibrations you can experience as a giant palette of colour. In each moment, you can choose which frequency you broadcast in the same way a painter chooses his colour spectrum before he begins an artwork.

“At one end of the spectrum are high-flying, good-feeling frequencies like inspiration, clarity, love, appreciation, and light-heartedness. And at the other end of this continuum are bad-feeling frequencies like powerlessness, despair, regret, and frustration.”

Bet you’re going to choose high-flying when you see what profound effect your thoughts and emotions have on physical reality. Someone who made this process easy to see is Japanese researcher, Masaru Emoto, who uses high-speed photography to show the direct consequences of destructive versus positive thoughts on the formation of water crystals.

In his book, ‘The Secret Life Of Water’, Masaru explains what happens in his lab. They place drops of water in Petri dishes and expose them to words, phrases or songs. They then freeze the water at minus 25 degrees centigrade and let it cool for two and a half hours, during which time tiny round clumps of ice are formed.

“We then peer at the ice at five degrees below zero at a magnification of 200 times. The crystals appear for only two minutes under the microscope. During that time, the tiny water crystals form hexagonal patterns and then melt just as quickly as they appear.”

Masaru’s book shows some surprising photographs: The crystal formed when exposed to ‘You’re beautiful’ truly is beautiful whereas the crystal formed after hearing ‘Try to be beautiful’ is slightly deformed. The word ‘like’ seems to take on the shape of a joyous heart, but ‘hate’ results in a hollow image, almost appearing to suffocate.

Masaru says it proves that the words we speak, the words we write, paintings and photographs all emit their own frequencies. So, what are you going to expose yourself to today, girlfriend?
Happiness is a frequency. Stay tuned. Your body is always listening.