It’s true. The Bronnie is 23 years old! Can it be that September 2002 is that long ago? A lot has changed since then and not just in external reality. So, let me tell you what I have learned over these 23 years: Your problems aren’t in the way . . . they are the way.

Mike Dooley said this. He writes that setbacks aren’t detours – they’re launch pads. “When challenges arise, take note of emerging opportunities and ask yourself: What am I not yet seeing? What might I be afraid of? How is this setting me up for something awesome?”

I think the main question is: How can I see something differently? Christopher Van Buren says that the world around us comes to us through context. “Context helps form beliefs. Context can be expanded or even switched to a different context, thus creating a different truth or falsehood.”

He says that all beliefs are assumptions of the truth or falsehood of our perception of the world around us. They are a form of cognitive bias and Christopher recommends that you don’t even try to change or re-wire your old beliefs, your thoughts, your mindset or your inner dialog. That’s like pushing a stone uphill.

Instead, shift your point of view. Try seeing the world through another person’s eyes. This works extremely well for me when I imagine how my poor dogs must interpret my hectic running around during deadline time. Is the sky falling? Nope? Then why all the hullabaloo?

It also makes me remember what someone I once knew told me. She had a tame mongoose. Whenever the family went on holiday the mongoose would watch them hurriedly carrying suitcases to the car. He would then start his own frantic version by rushing back and forth to the car, his own pieces of string dangling from his mouth.

Senseless behaviour? It depends on the context, on your perspective. Most of us share a common perspective: we believe that ‘bad’ things are bad for us and ‘good’ things are good for us. Sara Bareilles says that the good, the bad, the ugly, the pain, the hurt, the frustration – all of that is valuable and part of this human experience, so we should lean in to all of it.

The “leaning in” is not always easy. Personally, I have been most unhappy when feeling that things – whatever the example of circumstances – shouldn’t be as they are. I constantly need to be reminded what St Therese of Lisieux said: May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

Girlfriend, why do we find it so hard to trust that we are at exactly the right place, at exactly the right time; that what we judge as ‘wrong’ might actually be an opportunity? I think we find it tough because we cling to our judgements, to our preconceived notions. Why? Maybe it is because we strive for certainty, keep reaching towards stability.

In her book, ‘Between two kingdoms’, Suleika Jaouad says that after you’ve had the ceiling cave in on you – whether through illness or some other catastrophe – you don’t assume structural stability. You must learn to live on fault lines.

And we can, girlfriend. In our own way each of us lives on fault lines with very little that is certain for long. Tony Schwartz says that the opposite of certainty isn’t uncertainty. “It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides.”

Suleika says she used to think that healing meant ridding the body and the hart of anything that hurt. It meant putting your pain behind you, leaving it in the past. “But I’m learning that’s not how it works. Healing is figuring out how to coexist with the pain that will always live inside of you, without pretending it isn’t there or allowing it to hi-jack your day. It is learning to confront ghosts and to carry what lingers.”

So, here’s to thriving on fault lines, girlfriend. Let’s welcome the Bronnie’s brand new year and say with Alberto Caeiro: “What comes, when it comes, will be what it is.” – Angie Kleijn