“What stands in the way becomes the way”. Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, one of the most prominent Stoics of his time, wrote this. When I read it, I just knew that it is exactly what needs to be said on the occasion of The Bronberger’s 22nd birthday. Odd birthday message, you’d think?

Nope, it’s the perfect way to rephrase the Zen proverb: “Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path.” And, yes, as an independent publication, the Bronnie has faced its fair share of obstacles over the past 22 years! Enough of them to realise that it’s not about disregarding the anguish that obstacles bring. It’s about seeing anguish as a teacher rather than a burden.

“Blessings and burdens are not mutually exclusive,” says Ryan Holiday, author of ‘The Obstacle is the Way.’ The parable about the old man and his horse illustrates this. I heard the story from Nick Ortner, who tells it as follows:

There once was an old farmer. One day, his only horse ran away and his neighbours said: “What a terrible loss, such bad luck!” The farmer replied: “Maybe yes, maybe no. We’ll see.”

A few days later, the horse returned to the farm, accompanied by seven wild horses. “What good luck,” his neighbours said. “Maybe yes, maybe no. We’ll see,” the old man replied.

The next day his only son tried to ride one of the wild horses. The horse threw him and he broke both of his legs. The neighbours said: “Horrible news! What misfortune.” The man replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no. We’ll see.”

Soon after, a war broke out and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The farmer’s son was spared because of his injuries. “What great news! Such luck for your family,” the neighbours said. The old farmer simply replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no. We’ll see!”

Nick says this parable reminds us that what seems like very bad luck may, in fact, have a silver lining. And what seems like great news may not turn out how we expect, either.

Jumping to conclusions right away about whether something is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is often not the wisest choice. So, instead of rushing to conclusions or judging a situation, we can learn from the wise old farmer. We can learn to accept what is and stay open to the possibilities ahead, Nick writes.

The old farmer’s neutral statement, “We’ll see”, might be a bit beyond many of us, most of the time. We tend to take a nosedive into the deep, dark pit of despair when adversity strikes and that’s why it’s good to remember that our true obstacles are not external but inside us. In my opinion the biggest internal obstacle of all is to fall into victimhood.

Filipe Bastos talks about living above the line and living below the line. The ‘line’ separates empowerment from disempowerment. Living above the line means taking ownership of your life and being accountable for it.

Living below the line means handing control of your circumstances over to external situations and other people. This involves blaming other people for your problems, making excuses, living in denial or with a sense of entitlement.

Filipe writes that, in ancient times, the stoic philosophy of ‘amor fati’, meaning ‘love of one’s fate’, proposed that we embrace our lives exactly as they are, treating undesirable circumstances and distress as necessary for developing knowledge, strength and resilience.

Use “the obstacle is the way” as an antidote to despair. Filipe says that the more you do this, the better you will get at interpreting obstacles as opportunities. He explains that stoicism is founded on the belief that there is no good or bad, only perception. You can’t control what happens to you, only how you respond to it, so you may as well choose to respond well.

Ancient Stoics firmly believed that, rather than preventing us from doing something, an obstacle in fact presents a chance to overcome something. It’s not just about “finding a silver lining” or “blessings in disguise”; it’s also about opening yourself up to new experiences of yourself.

So, girlfriend, raise your glass to the Bronnie’s 22nd birthday. May we all enter this new year – and the obstacles it may bring – with open minds and hearts. Cheers! Here’s to changing poison into medicine.