We’re all scared that one day we’re going to be faced with a situation that’s going to break us. That we won’t be strong enough; that we will be destroyed.

So says JJ Virgin in her documentary, ‘You are stronger than you think’. JJ is a celebrity nutritionist, but in the movie she is talking about something else – about the way she turned up at her son’s hospital bed after a hit-and-run accident. He was given a 2,8% chance of living. JJ said that she’d take that percentage – it is good enough.

“I don’t care about false hope, to me all hope is real,” she said. It is about energy and everything that happens to you could be seen as either a gift or a burden. You choose. You can completely shape the direction of your life by this choice.

JJ didn’t only change the direction of her own life by this choice, but also that of her son. He was in a coma but afterwards said that he could hear his mother speaking and knew that she didn’t want him to die. The documentary is about the gifts that came from the choices JJ made when the rubber hit the road for her.

Few of us ever have to deal with situations as drastic as a hit-and-run accident and we’re scared that should we have to, we’d simply disintegrate because we can barely deal with the day-to-day grind.

Insignificant things happen each normal day that can push us down from energy level ten to level one, with ten, in Martha Beck-speak, being “I am on crack and plan to take over the universe” and one being “I am so close to dead I can see Grandma beckoning from heaven”.

Nick Polizzi, director of ‘The Sacred Science’ documentaries, talks about a technique, taught to him by a shaman in Honduras, which helps you to notice and prevent yourself from being derailed on a daily basis. Like much of the healing wisdom that comes from native cultures, this teaching began with an observation about nature.

“A deer knows it’s a deer. It has no inner conflict about its past, its purpose, its needs, or its destiny. It lives in the moment and is 100% resourceful at all times, minute by minute, its senses completely keen, its focus pure and unburdened.”

How can humans do this? By refusing to allow ourselves to be distracted by thoughts that aren’t serving us. Say you wake up in the morning and everything is sha-na-na until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and notice something you don’t like. Bye-bye beautiful morning and hallo downward spiral. Hours later you can’t even remember that the glimpse in the mirror caused the chain of bleuugh.

The shaman told Nick to break this chain by picking an hour out of a normal day in which you pay attention to your thoughts. Gently note when you find yourself slipping into negative self-talk.

Your hour is not about working with negative thought patterns. You are simply taking inventory of what comes up. Watch your thoughts the way in which a child on a river bank would take note of what floats by. “Curious, playful even, but unattached.”

It is all about the simple act of observing your triggers. Unfortunately it has become the aspirin of healing modalities to, once you’ve acknowledged your triggers, let them go. Teri Uktena says that people are asked to release the pain of childhood, but digging up this pain can lead to more time spent in self-archaeology, trying to find the root of your problem, than you actually spent surviving childhood.

She says that releasing is only useful if you’re holding onto something, not if you’re reaching out for something. Most people don’t need to let go of their feelings of loneliness, they need to start seeking out good people to spend time with. You don’t need to let go of the feeling that you’re not understood. Instead, seek out those who will understand you.

Releasing is not healing when the feeling stems from lack. You can’t let go of something you don’t have. If it’s a dragon you suspect you have to face, you cannot release your fear before meeting the dragon. Only after the dragon-battle can you release the adrenaline, acknowledge your accomplishments and tend to any wounds.

So, girlfriend, which dragon would you fight if you knew that you were stronger than you think?