“Nobody needs your help.”

So says author Neale Donald Walsch. He says this doesn’t mean that nobody wants your help or that nobody could use your help. It simply means the thought that someone else is powerless without you is inaccurate.

“Do not do something, therefore, because you think someone else needs you. That only builds resentment. Do whatever you do as a means of deciding, declaring, creating and experiencing who you are – and who you choose to be.”

The worst thing would be to do things because you want approval. Teri Uktena writes that external validation will come in a multitude of forms, but if you wait for justification until you claim who you are, you're trying to pull the horse with the cart.

This is especially true for people who want to start their own business. When working for a boss as a means of getting your bills paid, you leave your real self at home and put on the required costume, complete with mask. While this can be stifling, it can also be comforting. To wear a costume is to be protected. People don't see the real you, they see what you project, and react accordingly.

Once you start out on your own, you have to ditch the costume, says Teri. What you are offering is yourself. You truly need to be yourself in public, possibly for the first time in your life and just the thought of this can trigger anxiety and lead to recurring nightmares of being naked in public.

We might feel we need a suit of armour to protect us, but vulnerability coach, Brené Brown, says that your armour is preventing you from growing into your gifts. “I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armour could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but . . . time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think . . . It’s time to show up and be seen.”

This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, it simply means that you have to be honest. When you hide who you are, you’re going to be surrounded by people who are attracted to that which you pretend to be. If you want people in your life who share your passions and interests, you need to be yourself.

Unfortunately many of us try to change who we are. The late dr Wayne W Dyer, American philosopher, self-help author and motivational speaker, said that we need to find out for ourselves how much we’ve allowed others to decide issues such as what we do, where we live, with whom we live, and even how we’re treated.

“We must know that absolutely no one else truly knows and feels what we’re here to accomplish, so we must give ourselves permission to hear our inner guidance and ignore the pressure from others. The willingness to listen and act on our inspiration, independent of the opinions of others, is imperative,” he said.

If the first step is to be independent of the good opinion of others, then the second step is to be willing to accept the disapproval of others. According to dr Wayne W Dyer the third step is to stay detached from outcomes.

He said that inspiration doesn’t come from completing tasks or meeting goals. Actually that’s the sure way to have it elude us. Our purpose is not to arrive at a destination where we find inspiration, just as the purpose of dancing isn’t to end up at a particular spot on the floor.

The purpose of dancing, and of life, is to enjoy every step, regardless of where you are when the music ends.

But, girlfriend, while the music is still playing “don’t be afraid, don’t be daunted . . . just do your job . . . continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be,” writes Elizabeth Gilbert, author of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’.

If, just for one moment, some sort of wonderment is glimpsed through your efforts “then olé, but if not, do your dance anyhow and olé to you nonetheless for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up”.