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News - Final Word
Monday, 27 October 2014 21:47
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If you’re like most people, I’m sure that every once so often you long for things to be new, novel, different, exciting . . .

Have you thought about the real reason behind your longing for change? Natalie Ledwell from ‘Mind Movies’ writes that sometimes what we’re actually searching for is a feeling that we want to have on the inside, instead of an actual external experience. She suggests asking yourself:

How do I want to feel? Just for a moment, forget the actual event that you long to bring into your life and focus on the feeling that you think the experience would give you.

Most people say they want more money. If that’s true for you too, decide what the feeling is that financial abundance would allow you to experience. Could it be freedom? Then first, before striving for the external goal, ask yourself how you can create the experience of freedom inside yourself.

Am I being honest with myself? Many times we want something external to fill a void or to help us ignore something we’re feeling within. Natalie says we may want a new car to make us feel special, but the moment we have it, we already want to upgrade.

She says that this is what happens when you’re searching for something outside of yourself to feel better about yourself on the inside. Rather think up ways to buttress your feelings of specialness before committing to retail therapy.

Can I distinguish between feelings that belong to me and those that belong to others? This sounds like a crazy question, but when it comes to negative energy, many of us tend to take on that which doesn’t belong to us.

Madisyn Taylor says that other people’s criticism has much more to do with them and how they are feeling than with us. If you get caught up in trying to adjust yourself to other people, you lose touch with your core.

These poisoned darts offer us the opportunity to strengthen our sense of self, and to learn to deflect other people’s misdirected negativity. Remember that you can refuse to serve as target for the disowned anger and frustration of the people around you. Release that which has nothing to do with you.

Can others really hurt me? Spiritual teacher, Byron Katie, says that you can do all the growth work you want, but if you’re still feeling hurt and blaming other people for that hurt, you’re not really doing The Work on the beliefs that are causing you to feel hurt. If you think anyone has the power to hurt you, you’re confused.

So, what belief is making you feel hurt? What stories are you telling yourself? How do you feel when you believe this belief to be true? Who would you be without this belief? Martha Beck puts it this way: What if you had a little mini stroke and the only thing you lost was your ability to believe this belief? How would your experience of the world change?

What do I most want to be remembered for? Leonardo da Vinci said: “Oh, why not let your work be such that after your death you acquire immortality, rather than during life you make yourself like unto the hapless dead by sleeping?” Elsewhere he said: “Avoid that study the resultant work of which dies with the worker.”

Of course we all want to be remembered. Of course we want to be remembered for doing profound and amazing things. The challenge, for many of us, is how to set aside the roles others have devised for us and focus on that which we really want to do, even if nobody is applauding.

Can I stop the people pleasing? Author Anne Lamott writes: “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”

We are not here to keep proving to others who we are and what we can do. Whatever you think is good enough reason to allow others’ expectations to have power over your state of being, it’s not.

Know what you truly want to do, and honour that in all situations. Mahatma Gandhi said that happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.

And when they’re in harmony you will understand why Mike Dooley said: Being worthy isn’t something you earn, it’s something you recognize.

 

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